I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
