I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
