How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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