i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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