At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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