last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
