Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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