We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
