just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
