Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
