just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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