I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Is Oprah even human
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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