Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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