Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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