i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
