there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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