we have officially lost it.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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