No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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