Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
