one word: firstdatebathroomanal
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
