omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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