what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
