I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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