at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
