i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
