we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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