physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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