that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
