when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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