It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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