Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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