does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
