the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
