Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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