boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
