dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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