Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You made out with two different species that night
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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