dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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