I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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