Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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