so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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