So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
