Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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