Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
