then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
