like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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