I should be sponsored by Trojan
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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