you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
