Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
