My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
my sisters under your porch take her home
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
